we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
