I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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