Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
