you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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