I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
