It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
