How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
