Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
