I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
