It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
