I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Randomize
