There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
