Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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