You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
