I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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