i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
