i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
