she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
