shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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