you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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