She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
