Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
