Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
