You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
