We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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