butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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