READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
