I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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