So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
