In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
