i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
