I'm drive I can fine osifer
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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