Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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