ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
