Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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