Hey man sorry I got all grabby
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
