Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
