My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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