haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
