so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
