when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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