she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
