I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
