Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just had sex on a roof
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
