AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
