hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
