..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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