apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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