Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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