I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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