I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
